Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
