Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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