Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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