Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm like, not good at living.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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