ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
