We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
