How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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