Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
