I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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