real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
