sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
