I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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