Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize