Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
