i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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