So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
