We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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