I love how my cats smell like pot.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
