Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
