we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
