I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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