i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
