happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
