I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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