bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
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using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
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I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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