I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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