Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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