Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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