so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
