Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
