I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
