I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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