By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
