real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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