Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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