yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
me + whiskey = a bad person
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
