Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
