dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
