Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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