I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
