Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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