ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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