when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
