so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
