Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
