Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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