The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
