mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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