I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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