he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
