He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize