I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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