so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
