remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
