it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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