It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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